Straight to Home

Miguel and I pre-rollercoaster ride.
I'll tell you about the fair later, my friends, so don't let me forget.

As you probably recall, there are four H’s to culture shock, and last I heard, I was still in the first one, which is Honeymoon.

But here’s the deal.  It’s been a month.  You’d think I would have experienced the Horror by this point. 

Well I haven’t, and guess what.  Yesterday was Heaven.  Hey that starts with an H.  I think I just invented the fifth H to culture shock.

Anyway, let me tell you about it.  First, I went to church and it was all in Spanish, as usual.  During the last hour, we all combined because it was a fifth Sunday, and the missionaries taught the lesson, and guess what.  It was so crazy, but I actually understood almost all of the second missionary’s lesson!  There were several words I didn’t know, obviously, but there were enough that I did know spread out through his whole lesson, that I actually understood!  It was so awesome.

After church it was swimming time.  So we all piled in the van and headed over to the cousins’ to round them up.  Just so you know, everything we do is with the entire family, extended and all, and it is awesome.  They all live ridiculously close, as I told you before, so we see them all the time and we go to a bunch of places with them (like the fair/rodeo that I have yet to tell you about).  Then we headed to the pool in our van stuffed with more people than available seatbelts worth, but that really doesn’t matter around here.  We listened to music and talked and laughed and it was fun to just be in the car with them.  And we weren’t even at the pool yet!

We got there, set up our stuff at this table, and jumped in the pool.  This is when the fun really began.  First I played with Jorge and this little cousin I had never seen before.  We were chasing each other and splashing.  Then it turned into tag between me, Jorge, and Elvira.  That turned into a mini volleyball game between me, Elvira, a cousin named Roberto who is probably about Elvira’s age, and an aunt who is Roberto’s mother.  That turned into water soccer/football, and let me tell you, that was pretty much the funnest game ever.  It was me, Roberto, and a cousin called Chucho vs. Elvira, Miguel, the previous aunt, and another cousin who is the father of the cutest little boy named Sesa.  It was crazy intense.  There was attacking and wrestling involved and I was a full participant.  They didn’t hold back just because I’m not a blood family member, and I didn’t hold back either and it was hilarious.  And it was so tiring!  We were constantly going from one side of the pool to the other as fast as possible.  But it was way fun.  Then we went to the deep pool and chilled there for a while.

After that it was time to eat.  It wasn’t like a little pool-side picnic, it was legitimate food.  There were tortillas, meat, rice, nopalis, eggs with noodles, potatoes with tuna, chips and peanuts of the Mexican sort, and drinks galore.  It was awesome.  

Then we played games and played on the playground for a few more hours.  There was a teeter-totter which is basically the best playground toy ever invented.  And there was this spinny thing that a bunch of people sit in and you can spin as fast as you want for as long as you want.  I dominate on those things.  I never got sick, but pretty much everyone else did.  Sesa actually vomitted and it was so funny.  Roberto almost did.  I won.  It was great.

Also, popsicles were involved, and let me just tell you, every popsicle I have had here is divine.  They are just better in Mexico, I swear.  I had this strawberry cream one and it was so delicious.

Five hours later, we headed home, sunburn and all.  It was on the way home that I discovered I actually was going home.  We were all exhausted from the day’s fun so we kind of just stared out the window, listening to music and what not.  Jorge was dozing in and out of sleep next to me.  I was just sitting there, thinking about all that had happened that day, how much fun I had had, and how I felt so comfortable around these people, and I was so happy!  Then Evelia (the sister whose name I couldn’t remember back in the day) noticed that Jorge was falling asleep, so she changed the song to this Spanish song I obviously didn’t know, but everyone else did.  And one cousin started fake crying because it’s a sad song.  So the whole song he was like gasping for air and sobbing his heart out, and everyone else was singing every word way loud, and then they pulled out their cell phones and started waving them in the air.  And then a harmonica came on and the crying cousin began to play an air harmonica, and the whole thing was so funny!  It was exactly what I would be doing at home with my real family, only in Spanish, and it was awesome.

And really, I was so so so happy!  I always have such a good time with this family.  They are so nice to me, and I really feel so comfortable around them, and guess what.  We don’t even speak the same language.  How can that be?  How can I have a family that doesn’t speak the same language as me?  I have no idea, but somehow I do, and I love love love them.  And I often forget that we don’t speak the same language.  We find ways to communicate.  I feel like I know them, you know?  And I really do love them.  It’s cool.

So we got home, and Jorge of course asked me to play videogames immediately.  So we did, and guess what we played.  Crash Team Racing – Only the videogame of my childhood!!!! Love it.  Miguel and Roberto joined us and we played some more.  Then we adjourned to the kitchen para tomar cereal.  Some funny conversations ensued at that point.

I asked Roberto to speak Spanish with an American accent.  I don’t know if he didn’t fully understand or what, because at he first did a bunch of other accents, but either way, it was so funny.  He did French and I could totally tell what he was going for.  And he did Russian, and a bunch of other places in Mexico, like Veracruz.  Then I asked him again to do American and he did and it was the funniest thing I have ever heard.  Well first he did me specifically.  It sounded exactly like me and it was hilarious.  Then he did Americans in general and I basically peed my pants.  I was laughing so hard, I couldn’t even handle it.  Then I demonstrated some accents for them and when I did Chinese they laughed so hard.  It was so funny!

Then Roberto peaced out and we were left with the immediate familia.  So me and Miguel played videogames for a second and then Elvira came in and asked if I wanted her to do my nails.  Of course, I said yes!  So we adjourned to the kitchen once again and she did my nails, while Miguel watched.  It was Heaven.  But here’s the best part.  All the while we were watching Nacho Libre on the television.  In Spanish.  In Mexico.  You have no idea how happy that made me.

I WATCHED NACHO LIBRE IN SPANISH WHILE LIVING IN MEXICO!!!!!!

It was hysterical, I tell you.

Then it was like 11:30 and we decided to Hasta Mañana.

So I went up to my room, sat on my bed, and smiled.

Because guess what.  I am home, and I love it.

Roberto standing, Sesa little boy, Sesa's padre with the green shirt, and Diego with the white shirt trying to get up.

COCKROACHES

What the cram.  I just sat here for an over an hour trying to load a video in which I demonstrate what it's actually like to KILL one of these babies, but it never finished.  So, like the sound of the insects video, you will just have to imagine it for yourself.  But maybe it's a good thing I can't put everything on here, because then I will have something to show you when I get home.  

Anyway.  Let's get started.

Cockroaches.  

Fast Facts:

They are freaking disgusting.  I don't know if I had ever seen one in real life before coming to Mexico, but now I have seen enough to last me til I'm 90.  They are gross.  

They range in size from huge to flippin ginormous.  

They run fast.  

They wiggle their antenas a lot.  

They walk along the edge of the room usually, which implies they have a natural instinct that evil Americans will squish them if they are in the middle of the floor.  

They can and do climb walls.  

They crunch when you squish them.  

They twitch when they are dead.  

They can't flip themselves back over if they somehow land on their backs.  

They only come out at night, which makes them even more freaky.  

Even though cockroaches are all of the above, I have decided they are better than spiders.  And don't be thinking to yourself, "Oh, you just forgot what spiders are like."  No I didn't.  I squished a cockroach one night, and then the next night I squished a spider, and let me tell you, the spider was a billion times worse.  Even though cockroaches are way bigger and way louder during the squishing process and way dirtier during the cleaning process, cockroaches are just dumb little creatures who randomly happen to be wandering in your living space and they have no clue what they are doing.  

Spiders, on the other hand, are evil little twitching devils that purposely crawl around you just because they know you hate them.  Because I do hate them.

So I can handle cockroaches.  They don't get personal, you know?

Or at least they didn't.  Until last night when there was one crawling all over the shelf that houses my toothpaste and retainer and hair stuff and pretty much everything I use on a daily basis.  That was pushing the boundaries.  

The other problem is that they are way more prevelant than spiders.  I have only seen 2 spiders in my room, and I have seen like 20 cockroaches.  Or more.  Last night there were three.  And that's just my room.  I've seen plenty more elsewhere.   So in that regard, cockroaches lose.

Anyway, they are repulsive and you should be grateful you don't have to deal with them on a daily basis, as I do.  Maybe I will find a super huge one and kill it and bring it home for all to see.  Or maybe I will bring one home for each person!  In your own personal baggie.  That would be cool.  

Just kidding.

If you forgot what a cockroach is like, go watch Men in Black.  That's what they remind me of.

The end.

From the Mouth of Megan

"I feel like Mexico is a bunch of multi-colored storage units."

So true.

The Hurricane

One day Elvira, Miguel, Jorge, and I went to el circo, or the circus.  We got there at 8:30ish p.m.  The sky was dark and there was a little thunder coming from afar.  I was thinking, “Sweet, we are going to have a thunderstorm!”

We finally made it to the front of the line and were permitted to enter the tent.  After taking our seats, we waited for it to begin.  All was normal.  We were talking and watching other people and taking pictures (none with my camera unfortunately), and just having a grand old time.

The tent began to shake.  Elvira said, “Look, the wind.”  I was like, “Yep, it’s pretty windy out there.”  We continued to do our own thing.

The sound of the storm got louder.  Then we could hear the rain hitting the top of the tent.  It was loud.

All of a sudden everyone in the tent stood up, started screaming, and pushed towards the door, trying to get out.

I was so confused.  It was just like a movie.  Or like those T.V. shows of wild things that happen, you know?  The crowd was seriously all screaming and running and pushing to get out.  It was unreal.

Elvira stood up abruptly.  “Vamanos.”

And I found myself joining the mass of screaming people.  But I wasn’t screaming, so don’t worry.  I was, however, being pushed around left and right.  It was madness.

We made it to the outside rather quickly and what we found there shocked me even more.  It was insanely windy; so much that it was hard to stay in one place.  There was hail coming down in sheets and it was HUGE.  It hurt like crazy.  I consciously thought, “Ow!  This is actually painful!”  There was rain with the hail of course, and it was flooding the streets.

Something you should know about Mexico is that they have very small pipes.  So when it rains, the roads really do flood and you get rivers instead.  Also, the toilets clog easily.

Anyway, there was rain and hail all over the place.  The trees were basically bending in half.  It was really cool because they have palm tree-ish trees here.  So it really looked like the videos you see of hurricanes or other natural disasters, you know?  How they show the palm trees blowing?  That’s what was happening.  There were also signs on the ground that had been blown down.

And people were scattering everywhere, still screaming.  I just did my best to follow right behind Elvira.  I did not want to get lost.  It was insane.  We ran and ran and we couldn’t see anything and there were people everywhere.  There was one point that the wind got so strong we all had to huddle against a wall to not be blown away.

This is for real, people.  No exaggeration necessary.

Post wall huddle we found our way to a little shelter.  It was this guy’s office or something, and he was ushering people inside.  There we sat, watching the madness outside.  There were car alarms going off all over the place and people honking non stop.  But it was madness in the shelter as well.  We were squished in and people were crying left and right.  Adult people.  Crying.

It was so unreal to me that I would not have even considered crying.  I was just in awe.  Fortunately, mi familia is not the freak out and cry type, either.  Nope, they were being their normal selves.  Miguel was making jokes about how he really wanted to see the circus and now it was ruined.  So that was nice.

After a while of sitting in that shelter, Elvira led us out, in an attempt to get to the car.  The hail was basically done, so that was nice.  We ran and ran and crossed mini rivers.  And then we got to the busy road.  There were three lanes of traffic going one way, then a little middle island of grass, and then three lanes going the other way.  This road was seriously flooded beyond reason.  We crossed the first set of lanes pretty easily.  We didn’t have to wait long for the cars to pass, and the river was fairly calm.  It was hard to walk though, because the whole time I had to make sure I didn’t lose my shoes. 

So then we were in the middle island waiting for all the cars to pass so we could cross the last river.  After a while, there was a break in traffic, but we just had to wait for a bus to pass.  So as the bus passes we begin to step out into the road, but as I have said about a jillion times now, it was no longer a road.  Now, just imagine to yourself what it would be like to step in a river right after a bus has driven through it.  It created waves.  Real waves.  So our little group of four pushed through these waves of water that went up to my thighs.  We knew we reached the other side when we all tripped over the curb.  It was awesome.

Really, the whole time I was like, “Is this for real?  This is the coolest thing I have ever seen.”

We made it to the car, hopped in, and sat for a second to catch our breath.  On the way home we saw cars stuck in the water, more signs on the ground, trees that were broken in half, and other things of the like.

At home we took a warm shower and ate some cereal.  The news told us that the circus had, in fact, collapsed.  It’s a good thing we ran out when we did.

Thus, here I am still living.

Teaching

Hint:  Mine's the white one.

I’ve been teaching for almost a month now, so I figured it’s time for me to tell you what it’s like.

It is so crazy awesome.

There are different levels of the program.  Students enter at Kinder.  These students are so tiny and so adorable.  They hardly know any English, and this is where they establish their foundation. 

Then it’s Basic Reading.  I don’t really know what it takes to move from Kinder to Basic Reading, and I don’t really know what goes on at that level, either.  I think they read a lot of stories, like the name would imply.  I’m not sure though.

Anyway, after that they go to Elementary.  That is where my area of expertise lies.  Both my classes are in Elementary 2.

I love Elementary 2.  Would you like to know why?  Because my kids are a little older (about 7 to 11, as I told you before) and they know a lot of English.  Really, A LOT.  Sometimes I forget English is their second language.  So I will be just talking to them and talking and talking and then I will talk fast as I sometimes tend to do and they stare at me and are like, “Uh.  What?”  And then I remember, “Oh ya.  These kids speak Spanish.  Slow down, dude.” 

But it’s fun because they can tell stories and we can joke around and have fun and what not.  But don’t worry, I am not wasting my time here because there is also A LOT they can learn.  Even though they can say many things, I am sometimes surprised at the things they don’t know.  So teach them I am and it is splendid.

The first day was so hard.  They were insane.  They were all telling me the wrong names and they were freaking out all over the place and I had to send for Miss Carol twice.  Miss Carol is the principal and all the kids are afraid of her.  So you just threaten to go get her and they behave.  But on the first day you have to establish leadership and show that you are the teacher and they have to listen to you.   They didn’t think I would actually go get her so I had to do it, just to show them I would.  Twice!  But don’t worry, I haven’t had to once since that day.  Anyway, that day was the worst for everyone for the same reason.  We teachers all came together at the end of the day and wondered what we had gotten ourselves into.  We were exhausted and frustrated and kind of surprised.  But we were determined.

So the next day we marched into class, this time knowing what to expect, and we showed those kids who is boss.  It was about seven thousand times better.

Okay so let me tell you what it’s really like being a teacher.  It’s so hard!  First of all, there is lesson planning.  I spend hours planning lessons for these children.  Hours I tell you.  Then I have to give them to Kelly to approve them and make sure all is well.  And then I use them in class.  And guess what.  The kids are boooorred.

So the next week, I sit down to plan more lessons.  I think to myself, “Okay, ya, those lessons were kind of boring, but it was my first week, so it’s okay.  This week will be better.”  So I plan my lessons, and they really are better.  There are awesome games involved that will help them learn and have fun at the same time, and I think I am so brilliant.  Then I use them in class and guess what.  They are booorred.

What the heck.

So then I’m like, “Okay, ya, maybe those games weren’t the best games on the planet.  Let me try something else.”

And guess what.  They are still bored.

Now listen.  I really don’t take it personally at all because here’s the deal.  I know that my lessons are good, and I know that the games are actually fun.  It’s just their attitudes that make them bored.  The reason they don’t like my games is because they involve learning.  They hate learning and playing at the same time.   They would rather just play. 

Ricky said to me once, “Can we do something fun?”

I said, “Absolutely.  What would you like to do?”

“Play Sardines.”

If you don’t know what Sardines is, here’s the jist:  It’s like hide and seek, but only one person hides and everyone else is looking.  When you find the hiding person, you hide with them.  You get it?

So of course I said, “Uh, no.  That involves absolutely no talking at all and the whole reason we are even here is to get you to speak English.”

Now I see why these kids are bored.  It was Teacher McKenzie from last semester who let them play that game and now she’s ruining my life, because I have to deal with the consequences.  Not cool, McKenzie.

I also don’t take it personally because, really, they are just normal kids.  What kid would want to go to two extra hours of school everyday?  I certainly would not.  So I see where they are coming from.

That’s basically the biggest con to this teaching business.  They are kids and they are bored and I have to work super hard to try and teach them and not bore them to death and not bite their heads off. 

However, there are some definite pros. 

Numero uno.  It really is so fun.  When I can actually get just one little part of the lesson to go right, it is a blast.  The kids are totally engaged and they are taking in everything.  It’s crazy.  I wish you could see it.  You can see in their eyes that they are SOAKING in everything you are saying and it is so fun! 

I love when they remember something I teach them.  One day I taught them the word “until.”  More than a week later we were reading a story when that word came up and Fermin popped his head up.

“You-ntil!!  Remember?!?!?  You-ntil!!”  (He was pronouncing the U like “you”).

It was awesome!  When they do things like that, I know they are actually listening and learning, even though they act like they aren’t.

Sara basically remembers everything I say word for word.  It’s hilarious.  If I teach them a word and use it in a sentence to explain it, she will say that sentence over and over for weeks.  The same one.  It’s so funny. 

Even though I told you they are bored all the time, some of them actually do want to learn, even if/though they don’t realize it.  I can tell, and I love it.  Those are my favorite students.  When these students get a new concept or the meaning of a new word, their faces light up.  They love it!  And then they practice it because it just makes sense to them all of a sudden.  It is seriously the best.

I love when I plan an activity and every single student participates without complaint, and enjoys it, and learns, and everything is in harmony.  That has only happened like five times, maybe, but really.  That is Heaven in Mexico right there.

Aside from the learning aspect of this teaching business, the kids are funny.  I laugh my head off on a daily basis.  I wrote down some things Rico has said to me.

“It’s a lot of money!  It’s like one million, no, ten times one million dollars, no, eleven millions!”

And then there was:  CAN WE DO THE DIVIDISIONS?!?!?

Me:  What?

Rico:  (Shaking up and down) I WANT TO DO THE DIVIDISIONS!!!!!!!

I seriously had no idea what he was talking about.  We had just finished writing sentences with our spelling words.  As soon as he put the period on that last sentence, he drew a line under it and frantically shouted the previous quote. 

Turns out he wanted to do division.  Like long division.  He loves it!  It was so funny.

Then there is Star Student.  Every week we have to pick one student in the class who was being awesome during the week to be Star Student.  They love it.  They ask me every single day who it’s going to be.  One time we were sitting in class like normal and Rico said, “Who is the Star Student?”  And then suddenly sat up stick straight in his chair, folded his arms, and stared straight ahead (he wanted to be it).  I said, “I can’t tell you!”  And then he said, “Only God and you.” 

Me:  What?

Rico:  Only God and you know the Star Student.  You know…(and then he does the cross thing and kisses his hand).

So funny.

And since we are speaking of good times with Rico, let me tell you something else I love about this job.  Last week Rico and I had a beat down.  As in, we wrestled.  Over a pencil.  I totally dominated.  It was probably the funnest thing I have done in class thus far.  We were laughing so hard.  That’s what it’s like to teach in Mexico where they don’t have laws about touching.  Not only do you have little beat downs with your students, but they come give you hugs and sit on your lap and it is so adorable!  I love it.

One time Rico was the only one who came to class, but one of Brian’s students named Nydia came to join us for some reason.  So it was Rico, Nydia, and me.  For part of the lesson, we made those fortune teller things…

Pick a color: Orange.

Pick a number:  Seven.

Do what it says:  Tell Teacher Brittan that she is AWESOME!

Anyway, one of Rico’s said, “Stand up and dance.”

We ended up having a dance off right then and there in class and it was so FUN!  I was laughing so hard.  One of the funnest lessons, I’m not gonna lie.

Everyday we have rotation, which is where we teach someone else’s class for 30 minutes.  So, you know that song by Black Eyed Peas that they sang during the Super Bowl, “I’ve…had…the time of my liiiife…” You know?  Well one day I was teaching Megan’s class and I started singing that song.  All I said was, “I’ve…” and all six of the kids started singing along.  And then little Sebastian, who is so cute and so little, stood up and held his hand up like a microphone and started dancing and basically did a little concert for us and he knew every single word.  It was so so so hilarious.  I could not stop laughing.

Everyday after my evening class, I stand outside and wait for Elvira to come pick me up.  And everyday Nydia comes to pick up her little sister.  So she always passes me and says, “Hi Teacher!”  And I say, “Hi Nydia!”  And we smile and feel great.  Well the other day, all was normal, and she came walking up, and then she said, “Hi Teacher.  You look beautiful!”  Yep, that pretty much made my entire trip.  I LOVED it.

Since we are on the topic of students that aren’t mine:  Miguel.  He is a little trouble-maker in Megan’s class.  He is so smart and cute though and he wants to learn so that makes up for his difficultness.  Anyway, the first time I had him in class, he didn’t seem fully interested, or like he was fully participating, and I thought he was bored or something.  But after class, as I waited for my ride as usual, he came walking by with his padre and he looked up at me and said, “Bye Teacher!”  And then he got to his car and turned and said goodbye to me again.  Now, not all students would do this.  Sometimes students are just shy when they see you out of class and they don’t like to acknowledge your existence and they pretend like you’re not there.  But Miguel went out of his way to say bye to me!  So then I knew he actually did pay attention to the fact that I was at least trying to teach him something earlier that day.  It was awesome.

And there is this girl named Alma who is also not mine, but she absolutely loves me and I likewise her.  She asks me to go cross-eyed for her every time I see her.  And she laughs every time. 

I think one of my favorite parts is being called “Teacher.”  Everyday I have kids calling out to me, “Teacher, look at this!” 

“Teacher, guess what!”

Teacher this, Teacher that.  And they are talking to me.  To ME! 

I am a teacher. 

In Mexico.

I love it.

La Comida

I know you've all been dying to know what I get to eat here in Mexico on a daily basis.

Let me show you.

First we have my spot at the table:

This is where I sit every single day for every single meal.  It really is my designated spot.  If someone is in it when it's my eating time, they must move.  And it's obviously not by my orders.  It's basically a law and everyone is fully aware.  Please note my water bottle.  I brought it all the way from Utah to have this awesome experience with me.

Next we have the cereal.  Every morning for breakfast I eat a bowl of cereal.  Except once I had a tomale and some sort of drink thing.  But other than that I have cereal.  And then every night, before I go to bed, I have another bowl.  I know, Heaven, right?

Azucaradas.  A.k.a. Frosted Flakes.

  

Nesquik.  A.k.a. Cocoa Puffs.

Other cereals I have regularly include:  Choco Azucaradas.  A.k.a. Chocolate Frosted Flakes.  And Corn Flakes.  No translation necessary.

Don't forget the milk:

Now let me tell you something.  This is magic milk.  It does not need refrigeration.  Well, I know for sure that it doesn't need it before opening.  I'm not positive about the after opening part, because it's all in Spanish, but believe me, I've tried to look because I'm obsessed about that sort of thing.  Either way, each container is pretty tiny, so even if it does need refrigeration after opening (which we never give it unless I am the one to place it in the fridge, which I do do on occasion), we go through it quickly enough so it probably wouldn't matter.  It tastes different than American milk obviously, but it's still good.  I like it.  But it's always warm with it not being refrigerated and all so I kind of miss cold milk in my cereal.  Other than that, super delicious.  I like.

Please note the blue bowl.  There are exactly five of these bowls in this house, and they are the only bowls allowed to have cereal placed in them.  All the other bowls are for other things.  The first time I tried to get myself some cereal, I just picked a random plastic bowl and everyone had a little freak out session.  "No, no, these bowls (pointing to the above species), these bowls are for cereal.  That is for soup."

Ooooh.  Got it.  I'll remember that next time.

After breakfast comes lunch, as we all know.  I am at the school for lunch, so mi madre packs me a little lunch everyday.  It's really quite cute.  It has a sandwich or two, a drinkable yogurt (I love those things) and sometimes an apple or something.  The sandwiches come with a variety of insides.  Sometimes it's just cheese (called quesilla or quesillo or something and it's delicious).  Sometimes it's cheese with onions and tomatos.  Sometimes it's eggs and ham.  Sometimes it's this strange crystally jam stuff that is also good.  Sometimes it's ham with other items.  I never know what to expect.  It's like a little present at lunch time when I open my sandwich and see what's inside.  I've never had one I didn't like which is fabulous, no?  

And it's so cute, because it's always wrapped in a napkin.  That's what everyone does here.  All the other teachers that get sandwiches packed for them have a napkin around theirs too.  And I've seen it on commercials, too.  I don't know why, but they just do.  It's not like it's just a napkin, either.  They put it in a plastic bag, but first is the napkin.  Adorable.

Side note:  There is one teacher who always gets hotdogs on bread and she hates hotdogs.  It's hilarious.

In between classes I come home for another meal.  I guess we could call it dinner since it's at like 4 and it's the last big thing I eat for the day.  This is where the legitimate, homemade Mexican food comes in.

You may have seen some common themes, but in case you didn't, let me point them out to you.

1.  Did you notice the green, slimy looking stuff?  It's called nopalis, a.k.a. cactus, and I find it to be delicious.  I don't know why, because really, it's green and slimy.  The other teachers hate it.  But I like it.  Lucky me.

2.  If you see nopalis, then there will almost always be beans nearby.  They basically go hand in hand into a tortilla.

3.  Speaking of tortillas, they are served with every single meal.  Just trust that if they were not in the picture, they were nearby and I was about to be handed a stack.  They are basically used as a utensil.  You have your spoon, but really, it's unnecessary because you have your tortilla to put your food into and then you eat the whole thing and it's just great.  I didn't realize this in the beginning, so I would eat my food with my spoon and then eat a tortilla along side it. They thought I was weird and that I didn't really like tortillas or something.  So I've slightly adapted, but I still eat like an American, and they have accepted my strange ways.  They still give me tortillas even though I basically disgrace them.  

4.  Did you see that salad in a couple of pictures?  We eat that almost everyday as well.  It has basicallly everything you can possibly think of including, but most definitely not limited to:  lettuce, carrots, cucumbers, tomatoes, onions, mushrooms, meats of some sorts, sunflower seeds, cheeses, nuts of all kinds, corn, green beans, etc.  It's really quite delicious.

5.  And then there is the bowl of soup.  With almost every meal comes a little bowl of some sort of soup. It always has a red color to it, but it doesn't always taste the same.  It is always good however, so it doesn't really matter.  And just a note, you must always finish all the broth.  And they give you a lot of broth.  I don't know why, it's just what you do.  When I say broth, I am meaning oily water that is flavored.  But I'm fine with it because it's really not bad.  Actually there is one instance in which I don't like it and that's with the meat.  When we have chicken or something cooked in a pot with all this broth stuff, they always give you your piece of chicken in a bowl half full of the liquid.  And then you have to drink all of it.  So I do, but it's not particularly enjoyable.

6.  They also squirt lime onto everything.  I love the smell, but I have discovered I hate the taste.  So I just don't squirt lime onto anything of mine and it's just fine.  However, I do like the lime and suger in water drink we have.  That's good.  Plus it's cold, which I like.

My favorite thing we have eaten thus far:

It's nothing special, but I just loved it.  It was chicken with some sauce stuff on it and rice.  I basically love all meals like that, even in America.  Yum.

Now.  I have been lucky.  I have liked nearly everything I have been fed.  Okay, I guess it's not luck, because really, I'm not even picky, so I basically like everything.  And if I don't absolutely love it/like it, then it's at least edible and I don't have a prob.  However, yesterday I was fed something that I really could not handle, and I had to stop eating it:

It's sheep in some sort of broth stuff.  It was so so so so so so so so disgusting.  First of all the texture.  Oh. My. Gosh.  I don't know if it was muscle or skin or what because listen to this.  The top was like fluffy-ish and soft and the bottom was slimy.  When you bite it, it breaks in the most unnatural way.  And it gets in your teeth and it's just so gross.  If that had been the only problem, I would have been able to force it down.  But then there was the taste.  I can't even compare it to anything else.  It was just the worte tasting thing I have ever voluntarily put into my mouth.  I tried and tried to just deal with it, so you should be proud that I full on ate four whole pieces of sheep before I had to stop.  I gagged on the inside.  Really.  So gross.  And then I squeezed a lime into it to try and make it better.  Uh.  Didn't help.  

So guess what I had to do.  I had to pull the "Too Spicy" move.  They told us about it in training.  They said, "The mothers over there are really worried about the food being too spicy for you Americans so if you don't like something, just tell them it's too spicy and they will understand."

But guess what.  Nothing I have eaten here has been spicy.  I'm quite surprised.  I thought everything was supposed to be spicy, but it's false.  Well, LUCKILY for me, this truly was spicy.  It was the spiciest  thing I have eaten since being here, and it was actually the first thing I noticed in that first bite.  Even Elvira said it was very spicy.  So I said, "I'm sorry. It's too spicy, I can't finish it."  And they were like, "Oh yes, that's fine, here let me take that from you."  Not in those words, but you know what I mean.

I lied.  But it was 100% necessary if I did not want to vomit.

TMI?  

Well.  Sorry.  But I want to remember this when I'm 70, remember?

And here's another thing.  As mentioned above, I am obsessed with expiration dates and properly handling your food and things.  However, I knew things would be different here, so of course I have let that go for my time as a Mexican.  And you should be proud.  Because guess what.  They really do just leave everything out all night and then eat it the next day.  Have they never heard of the two hour rule?  Remember the picture from above of the white enchilada thing?  Well on the inside was all this red meat stuff.  We ate that for lunch, and then it was left on the table until the next day at lunch when we ate it again.  So not sanitary.  But, again, I just let it go and ate it, and here I am still living.  

One time I helped make the lunch because we taught from 12 to 2 so I had a bigger break in between classes.  Guess what I had to do.  Handle raw meat.  In Mexico.  I hate raw meat in America.  So anyway, it was some sort of thin steak or something, but I had to pick it up with my hands, then reach into the salt bag, pick up some salt between my fingers, spread it all over the meat, then flip the meat over in my hand, stick my fingers back in the salt bag, grab more salt, and sprinkle more on.  Cross-contaminating all over the place, I tell you.  But I did it.  And I just let it go.  I know that this happens all the time with the food I eat here, and guess what.  Here I am still living.  Maybe my insides have had to work harder and maybe my digestion has been hindered and maybe I have been a little ill because of it, but that is the price I pay, and I am over it.

Even lunch meat is left out.  Like ham.  We ate some ham at like midnight last night after we ate tacos after we got home from the rodeo/fair, which I will tell you about later, and then it was left out all night and then it was on my sandwich at lunch today and I knew exactly where it had been all night.  And I ate it anyway.

If I was in America, I would have thrown that ham away.  That's how obsessed I am.  

So I think it's super awesome that I can so easily just let that part of myself go for this whole experience. I'm cool.

As for the drinks, there is a lot of this going on around here:

That's right.  Apple soda.

Everyone drinks it.  It's delicious, that's why.

Thus is my life in food.

La Playa, a.k.a. Heaven

 

We spent the next two days at the beach.  I love the beach.  Love it. 

On Friday we went to this private beach that was pretty tiny, but so pretty.  And don’t be fooled by the word “private” because there was a ton of people there. 

On the way to Huatulco we decided that snorkeling was a must so that is the first thing we did.  It was so cool!  Apparently it wasn’t that great of a snorkeling experience (spoken by those with more experience than I), but since I had never done it, I thought it was awesome.  We could see everything under the water.  The coral at the bottom was crazy.  There was this group of tiny fish and the guy who was leading us would knock two pieces of coral together and the all the fish would swim over to it.  It was cool.  And they were so close to us that we could touch them.  There were also huge groups of bigger fish that would swim in unison like you see on TV/Finding Nemo, but it was real life so it was a thousand times better.  There were these little blue fish that were like neon.  They were so bright.  There was a squid thing crawling along the bottom.  It was just awesome because it was what I have always seen on TV, but I was actually in the middle of it.  So cool.

But then I started getting sick.  It was so lame because I NEVER get motion sickness.  I can ride any ride, or drive for as long as is necessary and never feel a thing.  But for some reason, snorkeling made me seriously sick.  I think it was because I was so hot and I had swallowed a lot of salt water.  So Megan, Emily, and I went back to the beach.  If I had been out there any longer, I would have definitely barfed. 

Anyway, we just chilled the rest of the day on the beach.  We played in the water and slept on the sand, and watched the other people. 

It was Heaven I tell you.

That night, we had cereal for dinner and then went to a movie.  We were going to see Rio, which I didn’t really want to do since I had just seen it the week before and I couldn’t understand what it was saying anyway, but then the worker guy came up to us and said they were showing Little Red Riding Hood in English.  So half of the group decided to leave the Rio movie and enjoy some Englishness.

But guess what.  Little Red Riding Hood?  Worst.  Movie.  Ever.

Not even joking.  It was so weird.  The whole time I was like, “Are you serious? Is this really happening?”  When it was over, we all just looked at each other in shock.   And then we made fun of it all the way home and it was hilarious.

Day one of the beach:  Over.

Day two:  It started off with shopping.  We went to a market that had everything you could think of.  I bought a bunch of stuff for other people (like my family, you know), but nothing for me.  And by the way, I hate bartering.  It’s so annoying.  Why can’t these people just be normal and do a normal price that the customer and the worker will be happy with and when they say that’s the price, then that’s the price and we don’t have to argue about it?  Because really, it gets annoying.  Whatev.

Then we went to beach number two.  It had its pros and cons compared to the beach before.

Pros:

It was empty.  I much prefer empty beaches.  It was just us doing our thing, all alone, with the ocean and the waves, and it was awesome.  Also, it was prettier.  And the waves were bigger so we could boogie board and what not.

Cons:

The waves were bigger so you couldn’t just chill in the water and float up and down with the mini waves, which is what I prefer to do.  Also, the water was really sandy.  If you sat on the beach and got sand all over you, you couldn’t just go out into the water to rinse off because you would come back more sandy than you started.  So that was kind of annoying.  But other than that, it was fabulous. 

That night we went out to dinner.  I think the place we went to was like trying to be slightly American or something.  It was weird.  They even had, “We love our American tourists” written on their wall.  Their menu was in Spanish and English, and their food was like half Mexican, half American and it was gross.  We should have found a legitimately Mexican restaurant.  It wouldn’t have been that hard considering we are in the middle of Mexico.

Oh, but before dinner, there was a parade!  It was cool.  There were floats and sirens and girls in dresses (and girls in a lot less than that), and candy was thrown left and right, just like American parades.

The rest of the night was spent in our hotel just doing whatever.  The next morning we left for home and officially labeled our first vacation Over.

It was a good one.

*By the way, thank you thank you thank you to everyone for your comments and support!  I’m glad this blog is being put to good use. 

Number 3

Remember how we were on the list of things that happened on our way to Huatulco?  Meet numero tres:  The Mountain.

If we were to have taken the bus, it would have been a 12 hour drive to Huatulco.  However, with Raphael as our van driver taking us wherever we pleased on our every whim, we were able to take a different route that only took about 6 hours plus or minus a few.  I don’t know, it all blends together.  Anyway, this different route was through a mountain that was up and down and left and right and very unpleasant.  But let me tell you, I am changed because of it.

First of all, the driving is even more crazy in the mountains that it is in the city.  The roads are just as skinny, if not more, than in the canyons in Utah.  The difference is that they are about 20 times windier, and people drive about 7 times faster.  And if you come upon a slow car, you just pass it.  Raphael was pro at that.  Even in our big van he was always catching up to the car ahead.  So he would tailgate them for a while and then he would pass them.  Even over a double yellow line (which means nothing anyway, so whatev), around curves, and/or over hills in which you really can’t see that far ahead to see if a car is coming the other way.  There were SEVERAL instances when we would barely pass the car and get back onto our side of the road before the car coming the other direction would pass us.  Just like the rest of Mexico, it was only scary for the first six or seven times and after that you just get used to it and realize that no one will get hurt in the passing of other vehicles, no matter how crazy the driving.

As if the above factors were not enough to make the roads too dangerous, now add people walking along the side.  Oh wait, there is no “side” of these roads because they are so skinny!  But SOMEHOW there were always people walking along them as the cars sped by at insanely fast speeds.  It was truly shocking.  Old people, teenagers, moms with their little two-year-olds trailing behind them; every kind of person was walking next to our van at some point.  And animals, too. 

And then comes the sad part.  Many a time, these people were barefoot.  They were almost always dirty.  And when you would see their living places, it would just make your heart break.  They were so poor.  They are basically camping as their life.  It did not look fun.  It really was shocking.  The whole mountain was just one shock after another.  This is how it went:  we would drive for a while and it was just like a normal canyon, with wildlife and things growing (and the frequent person walking along the side and everything) and then a speed bump would come, indicating the start of a little neighborhood thing.  So you would look out the window and there were all these little shelter house things that people actually live in.  And people would be standing around with no shoes on staring at you as you drive by.  About 50 yards after the first speed bump, a second speed bump would come, indicating the end of the neighborhood thing.  And then the canyon would be normal again with no little shelters built at the side. 

Even though that part was sad, the experience as a whole was amazing.  Everything I saw was literally awesome.  The mountain was so pretty.  And it was crazy because we would be driving and the side of the mountain would be at the left of the van, with the cliff at the right, and then a few minutes later, the cliff would be on the left and the mountain would be on the right!  It was so weird.  The trees were way cool.  In fact, sometimes I would look out the window and just see a bunch of mountains full of green trees and it seriously looked like that part in “The Ultimate Gift” when he goes to Mexico, or is it Brazil?  I don’t even remember.  Anyway, it shows that view of the mountain with all the green trees and it’s just a big jungle.   That’s what this looked like.  So cool.

Then all this fog came and it was the coolest thing I have ever seen!  You could seriously see it moving in.  The temperature suddenly dropped and we couldn’t see anything but white all around us. 

The fog did clear shortly thereafter, and we saw more shocking things.  For example:  we came upon this little place meant for mothers to come have their babies.  You should have seen it.  It was this little shack thing that could NOT have been sanitary.  I would rather have my baby in a tent.  But apparently the ladies that live on that mountain go there?  I obviously don’t know for sure, but the fact that that place exists means it’s probably used, and again, it’s shocking to me.

So, for several hours I looked out the window and took it all in.  I thought a lot about a lot of things, and really, I don’t think I will ever be the same.  If I were to go home after only driving through that mountain, I would be a changed person.  So imagine how changed I will be at the end of this.

But as I said, it had been several hours, which for me is no big deal, but for others, winding roads cause unpleasant side effects and soon we had vomiting in our midst.  So we pulled over and took a break in the middle of the jungle.  There was one little bathroom thing we could pay to use if we wanted, but I thought, “Nah.  I can wait a couple more hours til we get there.” 

I should have gone.

Because guess what.  We got back on the winding road and began driving and driving.  More vomiting ensued.  But we decided to keep going.  And then we hit the line of cars at a dead stop in front of us.  There had been a crash.  It was blocking both lanes of traffic and no one could move.  So we turned off the van, turned off the lights, sat back, and waited.

Can I just tell you what a great experience that was?  I’m not even being sarcastic.  I was sitting there thinking to myself, “Here I am a jillion miles away from home and my family has no idea that I am literally stuck in the middle of the jungle in Mexico.  There is no way for us to get out of this.  We just have to wait.  Who gets stuck in the middle of a Mexican jungle?”  We do, that’s who.  And then we bonded like girls tend to do when they are stranded like that.  We told stories from our childhoods and played “Never Have I Ever.”  It was so fun.

About two hours later the cars began to move, and we were on our way again.

We arrived in Huatulco at 1 or 2 in the morning, but then we had to find somewhere for us to stay.  Fortunately there are men on scooters that ride around in the middle of the night looking for tourists so they can get business at their hotels.  No lie.

Thus, we found a place to sleep.  And sleep we did.