It's Fine

So you know that long story I told you I had coming?  Well I wrote it with a tint of boredom and internally felt obligation, and it ended up just too....long and boring.  Which I thought was fine, because who cares, right?  But then I read an email that my mother sent this morning, and guess what she said to me.  She said more people read this blog than I thought, and apparently y'all like the way I write as well as the content, or whatever.

So then I felt kind of guilty because guess what.  This long boring story is actually not boring at all.  It's freaking awesome.  But I wrote it when I was bored and so it sounds boring, and now that I'm almost done with it (finally), I read through it, and I'm thoroughly unsatisfied.  It doesn't portray the true awesomeness at all!  It puts me to sleep.  I would not be able to live with myself if I posted it on here.

Thus, I have a proposal to make.  How about I just tell you about the public bathrooms now, to satisfy all your Brittan-blogger-cravings, and then I will sit down over these next few days and write a legit post about the fair and the fam and the rodeo and it will be acceptable to all, including me.  Deal?  Deal.

Okay, so I don't know if it just runs in the family or what, but when my mother, Meckenzie, and I went to Australia, we were semi-obsessed with the bathrooms and we full on took pictures and videos in them.  Note the plurality in the word "them."  There is just something revealing about the culture of the people in their public bathrooms, verdad?

Let me give you a mental tour of the pb's I have been experiencing as of late.  First of all, before you even enter the bathroom, you are forced to put $3 pesos in a little machine.  If it's an emergency and you just don't have any change?  Sorry, but the machine doesn't care, my friend.  Money is the only thing that will allow you through those metal bars and into the bathroom.

So you walk in and choose a stall.  Hopefully the door locks, but if it doesn't, it's fine because you can just hold it shut with your knee or something while you go.  But wait a sec.  You look down at the toilet and it looks naked.  Oh, that's because there is no toilet seat on it.  So you're like, "Hm.  That's weird."

You casually exit the stall and go to the next one, only to find that it does not have a toilet seat either.  None of them do.  So you think to yourself, "Well, I am in Mexico after all, so I guess it's fine."

You see, that's the awesome thing about being here.  Earlier tonight we had a "Month in Mexico" party at Hannah's that included ice cream cones.  But when we opened the box of cones, half of them were broken.  Emily said, "Oh that happens in America all the time so it's totally fine."  And Hannah said, "Ya if it would happen in America, it's fine."  But guess what.  If it wouldn't happen in America, then all you have to say is, "Well we're in Mexico after all, so what do you expect?  It's fine, people.  It's fine.  Here we are still living."  It's awesome.

Back to los baños.  You spend the next 3 minutes squatting awkwardly over the naked toilet.  When you are done, you spend 3 more minutes being confused because you don't see toilet paper anywhere.  You think to yourself, "I must have missed it somewhere."  So you look again.  But guess what.  You didn't.  Because there is no toilet paper.  If you want it, you gotta bring it.  We learned that lesson real quick.

You leave the stall and head over to the sink to find cold water and no soap.  Thank goodness for Germ-X.  That's all I have to say about that.

You have now successfully navigated through a public bathroom in Mexico.  And then you wonder to yourself, "Where does the money even go, because it's obviously not going to toilet paper, or soap, or even seats for that matter..."

Quien sabe.

But don't worry because you only have to pay for bathrooms at gas stations and things.  If you're in the mall or something, you don't have to pay.  And Paige has pretty much traveled the world in her 20 years of life, and she says these bathrooms are Heaven compared to the ones in Russia.  Let's just say, pee all over the floor.  And she paid for those too.

So I'm satisfied with my naked Mexican toilets.  Life is good.

The Kidlets

Sara, Jesús, and Rico.

Here's the deal.  I have a long story that needs to be told.  I'm writing it in little chunks whenever I get the chance, but it's taking forever.  Thus the little, one picture posts.  Because I figure one little picture is better than nothing for a week, verdad?

So there you go, my friends.  Meet my evening class.  They are so adorable.

Coolest Bug Ever

Straight to Home

Miguel and I pre-rollercoaster ride.
I'll tell you about the fair later, my friends, so don't let me forget.

As you probably recall, there are four H’s to culture shock, and last I heard, I was still in the first one, which is Honeymoon.

But here’s the deal.  It’s been a month.  You’d think I would have experienced the Horror by this point. 

Well I haven’t, and guess what.  Yesterday was Heaven.  Hey that starts with an H.  I think I just invented the fifth H to culture shock.

Anyway, let me tell you about it.  First, I went to church and it was all in Spanish, as usual.  During the last hour, we all combined because it was a fifth Sunday, and the missionaries taught the lesson, and guess what.  It was so crazy, but I actually understood almost all of the second missionary’s lesson!  There were several words I didn’t know, obviously, but there were enough that I did know spread out through his whole lesson, that I actually understood!  It was so awesome.

After church it was swimming time.  So we all piled in the van and headed over to the cousins’ to round them up.  Just so you know, everything we do is with the entire family, extended and all, and it is awesome.  They all live ridiculously close, as I told you before, so we see them all the time and we go to a bunch of places with them (like the fair/rodeo that I have yet to tell you about).  Then we headed to the pool in our van stuffed with more people than available seatbelts worth, but that really doesn’t matter around here.  We listened to music and talked and laughed and it was fun to just be in the car with them.  And we weren’t even at the pool yet!

We got there, set up our stuff at this table, and jumped in the pool.  This is when the fun really began.  First I played with Jorge and this little cousin I had never seen before.  We were chasing each other and splashing.  Then it turned into tag between me, Jorge, and Elvira.  That turned into a mini volleyball game between me, Elvira, a cousin named Roberto who is probably about Elvira’s age, and an aunt who is Roberto’s mother.  That turned into water soccer/football, and let me tell you, that was pretty much the funnest game ever.  It was me, Roberto, and a cousin called Chucho vs. Elvira, Miguel, the previous aunt, and another cousin who is the father of the cutest little boy named Sesa.  It was crazy intense.  There was attacking and wrestling involved and I was a full participant.  They didn’t hold back just because I’m not a blood family member, and I didn’t hold back either and it was hilarious.  And it was so tiring!  We were constantly going from one side of the pool to the other as fast as possible.  But it was way fun.  Then we went to the deep pool and chilled there for a while.

After that it was time to eat.  It wasn’t like a little pool-side picnic, it was legitimate food.  There were tortillas, meat, rice, nopalis, eggs with noodles, potatoes with tuna, chips and peanuts of the Mexican sort, and drinks galore.  It was awesome.  

Then we played games and played on the playground for a few more hours.  There was a teeter-totter which is basically the best playground toy ever invented.  And there was this spinny thing that a bunch of people sit in and you can spin as fast as you want for as long as you want.  I dominate on those things.  I never got sick, but pretty much everyone else did.  Sesa actually vomitted and it was so funny.  Roberto almost did.  I won.  It was great.

Also, popsicles were involved, and let me just tell you, every popsicle I have had here is divine.  They are just better in Mexico, I swear.  I had this strawberry cream one and it was so delicious.

Five hours later, we headed home, sunburn and all.  It was on the way home that I discovered I actually was going home.  We were all exhausted from the day’s fun so we kind of just stared out the window, listening to music and what not.  Jorge was dozing in and out of sleep next to me.  I was just sitting there, thinking about all that had happened that day, how much fun I had had, and how I felt so comfortable around these people, and I was so happy!  Then Evelia (the sister whose name I couldn’t remember back in the day) noticed that Jorge was falling asleep, so she changed the song to this Spanish song I obviously didn’t know, but everyone else did.  And one cousin started fake crying because it’s a sad song.  So the whole song he was like gasping for air and sobbing his heart out, and everyone else was singing every word way loud, and then they pulled out their cell phones and started waving them in the air.  And then a harmonica came on and the crying cousin began to play an air harmonica, and the whole thing was so funny!  It was exactly what I would be doing at home with my real family, only in Spanish, and it was awesome.

And really, I was so so so happy!  I always have such a good time with this family.  They are so nice to me, and I really feel so comfortable around them, and guess what.  We don’t even speak the same language.  How can that be?  How can I have a family that doesn’t speak the same language as me?  I have no idea, but somehow I do, and I love love love them.  And I often forget that we don’t speak the same language.  We find ways to communicate.  I feel like I know them, you know?  And I really do love them.  It’s cool.

So we got home, and Jorge of course asked me to play videogames immediately.  So we did, and guess what we played.  Crash Team Racing – Only the videogame of my childhood!!!! Love it.  Miguel and Roberto joined us and we played some more.  Then we adjourned to the kitchen para tomar cereal.  Some funny conversations ensued at that point.

I asked Roberto to speak Spanish with an American accent.  I don’t know if he didn’t fully understand or what, because at he first did a bunch of other accents, but either way, it was so funny.  He did French and I could totally tell what he was going for.  And he did Russian, and a bunch of other places in Mexico, like Veracruz.  Then I asked him again to do American and he did and it was the funniest thing I have ever heard.  Well first he did me specifically.  It sounded exactly like me and it was hilarious.  Then he did Americans in general and I basically peed my pants.  I was laughing so hard, I couldn’t even handle it.  Then I demonstrated some accents for them and when I did Chinese they laughed so hard.  It was so funny!

Then Roberto peaced out and we were left with the immediate familia.  So me and Miguel played videogames for a second and then Elvira came in and asked if I wanted her to do my nails.  Of course, I said yes!  So we adjourned to the kitchen once again and she did my nails, while Miguel watched.  It was Heaven.  But here’s the best part.  All the while we were watching Nacho Libre on the television.  In Spanish.  In Mexico.  You have no idea how happy that made me.

I WATCHED NACHO LIBRE IN SPANISH WHILE LIVING IN MEXICO!!!!!!

It was hysterical, I tell you.

Then it was like 11:30 and we decided to Hasta Mañana.

So I went up to my room, sat on my bed, and smiled.

Because guess what.  I am home, and I love it.

Roberto standing, Sesa little boy, Sesa's padre with the green shirt, and Diego with the white shirt trying to get up.

COCKROACHES

What the cram.  I just sat here for an over an hour trying to load a video in which I demonstrate what it's actually like to KILL one of these babies, but it never finished.  So, like the sound of the insects video, you will just have to imagine it for yourself.  But maybe it's a good thing I can't put everything on here, because then I will have something to show you when I get home.  

Anyway.  Let's get started.

Cockroaches.  

Fast Facts:

They are freaking disgusting.  I don't know if I had ever seen one in real life before coming to Mexico, but now I have seen enough to last me til I'm 90.  They are gross.  

They range in size from huge to flippin ginormous.  

They run fast.  

They wiggle their antenas a lot.  

They walk along the edge of the room usually, which implies they have a natural instinct that evil Americans will squish them if they are in the middle of the floor.  

They can and do climb walls.  

They crunch when you squish them.  

They twitch when they are dead.  

They can't flip themselves back over if they somehow land on their backs.  

They only come out at night, which makes them even more freaky.  

Even though cockroaches are all of the above, I have decided they are better than spiders.  And don't be thinking to yourself, "Oh, you just forgot what spiders are like."  No I didn't.  I squished a cockroach one night, and then the next night I squished a spider, and let me tell you, the spider was a billion times worse.  Even though cockroaches are way bigger and way louder during the squishing process and way dirtier during the cleaning process, cockroaches are just dumb little creatures who randomly happen to be wandering in your living space and they have no clue what they are doing.  

Spiders, on the other hand, are evil little twitching devils that purposely crawl around you just because they know you hate them.  Because I do hate them.

So I can handle cockroaches.  They don't get personal, you know?

Or at least they didn't.  Until last night when there was one crawling all over the shelf that houses my toothpaste and retainer and hair stuff and pretty much everything I use on a daily basis.  That was pushing the boundaries.  

The other problem is that they are way more prevelant than spiders.  I have only seen 2 spiders in my room, and I have seen like 20 cockroaches.  Or more.  Last night there were three.  And that's just my room.  I've seen plenty more elsewhere.   So in that regard, cockroaches lose.

Anyway, they are repulsive and you should be grateful you don't have to deal with them on a daily basis, as I do.  Maybe I will find a super huge one and kill it and bring it home for all to see.  Or maybe I will bring one home for each person!  In your own personal baggie.  That would be cool.  

Just kidding.

If you forgot what a cockroach is like, go watch Men in Black.  That's what they remind me of.

The end.

From the Mouth of Megan

"I feel like Mexico is a bunch of multi-colored storage units."

So true.

The Hurricane

One day Elvira, Miguel, Jorge, and I went to el circo, or the circus.  We got there at 8:30ish p.m.  The sky was dark and there was a little thunder coming from afar.  I was thinking, “Sweet, we are going to have a thunderstorm!”

We finally made it to the front of the line and were permitted to enter the tent.  After taking our seats, we waited for it to begin.  All was normal.  We were talking and watching other people and taking pictures (none with my camera unfortunately), and just having a grand old time.

The tent began to shake.  Elvira said, “Look, the wind.”  I was like, “Yep, it’s pretty windy out there.”  We continued to do our own thing.

The sound of the storm got louder.  Then we could hear the rain hitting the top of the tent.  It was loud.

All of a sudden everyone in the tent stood up, started screaming, and pushed towards the door, trying to get out.

I was so confused.  It was just like a movie.  Or like those T.V. shows of wild things that happen, you know?  The crowd was seriously all screaming and running and pushing to get out.  It was unreal.

Elvira stood up abruptly.  “Vamanos.”

And I found myself joining the mass of screaming people.  But I wasn’t screaming, so don’t worry.  I was, however, being pushed around left and right.  It was madness.

We made it to the outside rather quickly and what we found there shocked me even more.  It was insanely windy; so much that it was hard to stay in one place.  There was hail coming down in sheets and it was HUGE.  It hurt like crazy.  I consciously thought, “Ow!  This is actually painful!”  There was rain with the hail of course, and it was flooding the streets.

Something you should know about Mexico is that they have very small pipes.  So when it rains, the roads really do flood and you get rivers instead.  Also, the toilets clog easily.

Anyway, there was rain and hail all over the place.  The trees were basically bending in half.  It was really cool because they have palm tree-ish trees here.  So it really looked like the videos you see of hurricanes or other natural disasters, you know?  How they show the palm trees blowing?  That’s what was happening.  There were also signs on the ground that had been blown down.

And people were scattering everywhere, still screaming.  I just did my best to follow right behind Elvira.  I did not want to get lost.  It was insane.  We ran and ran and we couldn’t see anything and there were people everywhere.  There was one point that the wind got so strong we all had to huddle against a wall to not be blown away.

This is for real, people.  No exaggeration necessary.

Post wall huddle we found our way to a little shelter.  It was this guy’s office or something, and he was ushering people inside.  There we sat, watching the madness outside.  There were car alarms going off all over the place and people honking non stop.  But it was madness in the shelter as well.  We were squished in and people were crying left and right.  Adult people.  Crying.

It was so unreal to me that I would not have even considered crying.  I was just in awe.  Fortunately, mi familia is not the freak out and cry type, either.  Nope, they were being their normal selves.  Miguel was making jokes about how he really wanted to see the circus and now it was ruined.  So that was nice.

After a while of sitting in that shelter, Elvira led us out, in an attempt to get to the car.  The hail was basically done, so that was nice.  We ran and ran and crossed mini rivers.  And then we got to the busy road.  There were three lanes of traffic going one way, then a little middle island of grass, and then three lanes going the other way.  This road was seriously flooded beyond reason.  We crossed the first set of lanes pretty easily.  We didn’t have to wait long for the cars to pass, and the river was fairly calm.  It was hard to walk though, because the whole time I had to make sure I didn’t lose my shoes. 

So then we were in the middle island waiting for all the cars to pass so we could cross the last river.  After a while, there was a break in traffic, but we just had to wait for a bus to pass.  So as the bus passes we begin to step out into the road, but as I have said about a jillion times now, it was no longer a road.  Now, just imagine to yourself what it would be like to step in a river right after a bus has driven through it.  It created waves.  Real waves.  So our little group of four pushed through these waves of water that went up to my thighs.  We knew we reached the other side when we all tripped over the curb.  It was awesome.

Really, the whole time I was like, “Is this for real?  This is the coolest thing I have ever seen.”

We made it to the car, hopped in, and sat for a second to catch our breath.  On the way home we saw cars stuck in the water, more signs on the ground, trees that were broken in half, and other things of the like.

At home we took a warm shower and ate some cereal.  The news told us that the circus had, in fact, collapsed.  It’s a good thing we ran out when we did.

Thus, here I am still living.