It's Fine

So you know that long story I told you I had coming?  Well I wrote it with a tint of boredom and internally felt obligation, and it ended up just too....long and boring.  Which I thought was fine, because who cares, right?  But then I read an email that my mother sent this morning, and guess what she said to me.  She said more people read this blog than I thought, and apparently y'all like the way I write as well as the content, or whatever.

So then I felt kind of guilty because guess what.  This long boring story is actually not boring at all.  It's freaking awesome.  But I wrote it when I was bored and so it sounds boring, and now that I'm almost done with it (finally), I read through it, and I'm thoroughly unsatisfied.  It doesn't portray the true awesomeness at all!  It puts me to sleep.  I would not be able to live with myself if I posted it on here.

Thus, I have a proposal to make.  How about I just tell you about the public bathrooms now, to satisfy all your Brittan-blogger-cravings, and then I will sit down over these next few days and write a legit post about the fair and the fam and the rodeo and it will be acceptable to all, including me.  Deal?  Deal.

Okay, so I don't know if it just runs in the family or what, but when my mother, Meckenzie, and I went to Australia, we were semi-obsessed with the bathrooms and we full on took pictures and videos in them.  Note the plurality in the word "them."  There is just something revealing about the culture of the people in their public bathrooms, verdad?

Let me give you a mental tour of the pb's I have been experiencing as of late.  First of all, before you even enter the bathroom, you are forced to put $3 pesos in a little machine.  If it's an emergency and you just don't have any change?  Sorry, but the machine doesn't care, my friend.  Money is the only thing that will allow you through those metal bars and into the bathroom.

So you walk in and choose a stall.  Hopefully the door locks, but if it doesn't, it's fine because you can just hold it shut with your knee or something while you go.  But wait a sec.  You look down at the toilet and it looks naked.  Oh, that's because there is no toilet seat on it.  So you're like, "Hm.  That's weird."

You casually exit the stall and go to the next one, only to find that it does not have a toilet seat either.  None of them do.  So you think to yourself, "Well, I am in Mexico after all, so I guess it's fine."

You see, that's the awesome thing about being here.  Earlier tonight we had a "Month in Mexico" party at Hannah's that included ice cream cones.  But when we opened the box of cones, half of them were broken.  Emily said, "Oh that happens in America all the time so it's totally fine."  And Hannah said, "Ya if it would happen in America, it's fine."  But guess what.  If it wouldn't happen in America, then all you have to say is, "Well we're in Mexico after all, so what do you expect?  It's fine, people.  It's fine.  Here we are still living."  It's awesome.

Back to los baños.  You spend the next 3 minutes squatting awkwardly over the naked toilet.  When you are done, you spend 3 more minutes being confused because you don't see toilet paper anywhere.  You think to yourself, "I must have missed it somewhere."  So you look again.  But guess what.  You didn't.  Because there is no toilet paper.  If you want it, you gotta bring it.  We learned that lesson real quick.

You leave the stall and head over to the sink to find cold water and no soap.  Thank goodness for Germ-X.  That's all I have to say about that.

You have now successfully navigated through a public bathroom in Mexico.  And then you wonder to yourself, "Where does the money even go, because it's obviously not going to toilet paper, or soap, or even seats for that matter..."

Quien sabe.

But don't worry because you only have to pay for bathrooms at gas stations and things.  If you're in the mall or something, you don't have to pay.  And Paige has pretty much traveled the world in her 20 years of life, and she says these bathrooms are Heaven compared to the ones in Russia.  Let's just say, pee all over the floor.  And she paid for those too.

So I'm satisfied with my naked Mexican toilets.  Life is good.